The Story Of My Life : A Feeling

I locked myself in my room, trying to understand what is happening right now.

 I looked around the house.

 The walls seemed okay. No holes to be seen. Where could the holes be? I knew they must be somewhere, I can feel it. But I didn't even find a crack. Then, I realized that the holes was in my heart. Life is so confusing, even I don't understand it.

The truth was revealed hours ago. But I can still feel the confusion, that burning question inside of me. I can still feel it.

It is partly my fault, too. I never have seen this day coming. I didn't realize what was happening this past 15 years I was alive. 

I can see there is something broken about my family. Very broken. Instead of being one supportive unit, our home has been one of fighting, confusion and worry.

And I hate it. I hate being stuck in the middle of a situation, and not knowing it. Trapped in the center of the conflict, with no place to turn. Head just fill with thousands and thousands of arguments. I’m not on one side and I’m not on the other—I’m just lost in the middle.

It is the tug of war. On one side, I wanted them to be back together. On the other side, I wanted to know this situation before now. I don't have the power to bring them back together, nor have the power to change back time and know this situation.

But if I want them to look at things differently, like if that's an option. I tell myself, “Do you know why mom’s so mad at dad? Because she loves you and wants the best for you, to her dad is not the best for you. Do you know why dad's crying? Because he loves you so much that he can’t bear to live without you.”

Even tough, sometimes these are lies I tell myself.

My mind keeps wandering further and starts to ignore the present. To learn to deal with my family I haven't known? I'm really afraid. And scared. And nervous. And confused. Call it whatever you want, but I don't know how to deal with it.

"Adrianna? Dinner's ready," stammered dad.

"Okay." I replied.

"I'm sorry, dear. I was a coward to tell you. I.. don't really know..." he stopped there.

"Don't really know what? Don't really know that this will happen? Don't really know that I want to be alone? To think things through? Don't really know how to understand me? I'm sorry, dad. I just want to be alone," I confessed.

I stopped there. I had to. Especially after hearing his tears from the other side.

The Story Of My Life : A Party

It was Saturday night and Erianna (my little sister) loves to dance. So, music fills up the roof here.

"Adrianna, honey. Can you come here?" my dad said, while I was stuffing my face with food. "Hurry," he added. Want to know the best part of a party? Free food.

"Everything okay?" I asked, feeling a little worried. It's not every day he calls me "honey".

"You don't know her, I suppose?" he muttered, pointing to something. No, it's SOMEONE. Guess who it is? It's someone's mother. Kind of old. Not to be rude, but grumpy, too.

"No. So?" I asked, in a rude tone. Dad gasped. It's not like he doesn't know I hate it when people interrupt me when I'm eating.

"I must say, Denielle. Your daughter is very rude! Just like you," mentioned the woman. She called my dad by his name, which probably meant they know each other for quite some time.

That is when I lost it.

"Excuse me, miss. But surely it is his daughter that's rude and not her father? Would you like it if I said you are grumpy and suddenly said your father is just as grumpy as you?"

"He is just as grumpy as I am. Perhaps, more grumpier. You ask?" she blurted out.

"It isn't same with my dad. He is very polite, unlike me. And mostly unlike you." I said, this time more rudely. She sighed and rolled her eyes at dad.

"You may not know this, but Edrianna is way more respectful than you are, missy. Oh, how perfect she was!" she gushed, fancy-like.

Edrianna?! Isn't she my imaginary twin? Is she real?! Calm down, Adrianna. It's probably some girl with the same name. You know what? There are probably a thousands Edrianna in this world.

"Who is this, dad? Tell me before this gets more confusing, please." I demanded, tugging my father's shirt.

He let out a huge sigh.

"This is your mother. We were divorced," my dad said. NOW this all makes sense.

All this time, I thought my mother was dead. I used to ask my dad "Where's Mommy? Where's Mommy?" but only his tears will answer me. And that is not a clear answer. I concluded that she was dead as every time I ask him he answers it with tears.

But dad was not finish. "You had a twin sister. Her name is Edrianna."

Edrianna. MY imaginary twin sister is real? But does she have blonde hair? Does she have green eyes? Does she have sparkling teeth? Does she have a big heart? Millions and millions questions rushed to my brain.

"This is her." Dad whispered to me. I can not believe it. I just simply can't believe it! And I have a feeling even she couldn't believe it!

It was the EXACT version of Edrianna that I imagined! Blonde hair. Sparkly eyes.

Except she wasn't smiling. She was as shocked as I am.

"YOU?!" we both cried. Our parents (well, you could say that) was both surprised as well. We never really met each other and based on what happened, even I would be shocked.

The Story Of My Life : A Beginning

No, this not the Once Direction song. This is the story of MY life. I did not take her home (whoever that is) and didn't drive all night. I don't have a license.

To be honest, my life isn't that special. Inspiration is not something I can buy at a shop. Not something I can dig

But there is one thing that makes me different from others; I came from Spudizs.

You never heard of it, I'm sure. It is all in my head. I figured if I wasn't meant to fit in in the real world, I must fit in somewhere. That is when I found Spudizs.

People were having a bad hair day EVERY DAY! People who had an ugly dress was COMPLIMENTED! Everyone has the capability to laugh at themselves. Everyone was fine, happy and joyful.

People weren't scared of leaving precious belongings on their own. In this world, in just a few minutes, I'm sure it would be snatched. But in Spudizs, everything would be fine and pleasant.

I also knew that I have a twin here. Her name is Edinare. She's very joyful and gets invited to most parties. If there were one word to describe her, it would be flawless.

*I DO NOT OWN THIS*

She is the blonde one. You see, we're practically twins. She's blonde and I'm red-headed. Her eye is green and mine is light blue <3


In real life, I don't have a twin. Well, at least I wish I have.

She's also my best friend here. Not in rea-- "Adrianna! You have mail!" said my dad.

"Yeah, sure!" I replied. As I went downstairs, I saw my little sister smiling until her ears. You maybe thinking "Why wish having a twin when you have a little sister?". You see, she always go to her friend's house. I'm not allowed to go, I don't know why. 80% of my day she isn't there.

I was kind of scared seeing her like that. So, I quickly grabbed my mail that was on the table and ran upstairs. The minute I went into my room, I realized it wasn't from anyone outside of the house. It was from, no other than, my little sister!



This Saturday, at 9:30 pm. No wonder she was smiling so wide..

"Adrianna, we need to talk." said my dad from the door.

Huh?